Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! (Part 3: Taking the Plunge)

Nesowadnehunk Falls (class IV) rapids on the Penobscot River

“And finally, there’s the Penobscot – lovingly referred to as the Nob by many. What it lacks in repetitive quantity, it makes up for in terrifying quality. The bigger rapids are heart racing and undeniable Class V… or stronger. This is a river you don’t want to swim.” -Review: U.S. Rafting – Penobscot River

Here’s Part 3 of the story of my accidental whitewater kayaking trip through Class IV rapids (Big Amberjackmockamus Falls) on the Pebobscot River… It’s continued from: “Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! Part 1: The Calm Before the Storm” and “Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! Part 2: In Over My Head.” If you are afraid of water or have had a near-drowning experience etc, you may want to skip this post. Otherwise, let’s pick up from where we left of…

I knew that as soon as I paddled through the crest of the wave in front of me, water would spill into my kayak, and it would capsize… but the only hope I had was in embracing my fate… besides… maybe I was wrong…

“Whoosh” the sound of roaring water filled my ears, and surrounded my body as the water pulled me out of my kayak and into its depths. I wasn’t afraid… I was too busy fighting for my life to be afraid… I was being tumbled just below the surface of the water in what felt like a giant washing machine… I worked with the downstream current to kick my way towards the surface. Succeeding briefly, I took a giant gulp of air before getting pulled back down under the surface and into the spin cycle again.

“Resistance is futile,” I reminded myself not to struggle against the current, but to try to guide my body through them instead…I bobbed to the surface briefly and won a second gulp of air… I was still in the spin cycle, but I was moving downstream, away from the original thing, the original trap, and into something new.

The third time my head bobbed to the surface I was able to keep it there. “I love my life jacket,” I thought as I took in a real breath of air. My life jacket was saving my life, and I knew it! With my head above water I was finally able to look around for my kayak… It was less than 10 feet away, upside down, with about a quarter of the bow visible above the water… My kayak was sinking.

I swam to it, grabbed the neoprene loop attached to the bow, and rested for a second enjoying the buoyancy that the kayak had retained. I looked at the river ahead of me… it looked like there was some really big whitewater and another big drop coming up… “I love my life jacket, but I sure wish I had a helmet,” I thought as I realized I wasn’t out of the danger zone yet.

I tried to pull the kayak towards the rocks on the left side of the river where I could see the kayaker stopped, and still taking pictures, but I couldn’t get the kayak to budge… at all… It was half-sunk, it was heavy, and it was completely under the river’s control.

A split second later the kayak started to pull me forcibly as the front end of it went over the next drop… I pulled back on it, desperately trying to save it, trying to keep the kayak from completely disappearing into the rapids and under the water forever. “It’s so expensive, I can’t afford to loose it!” was the first thought that ran through my mind.

“I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to,” I pleaded with the water, still reluctant to let it go even though I knew that I had to… The boat was going down, perhaps to the bottom, perhaps to stay there, and that was not where I wanted to go!

“Just let it go…” I calmly released the kayak to its fate as I said the words, and came to peace with it… All of life seemed distilled into that moment… On the river, in a fight for my life, and I had to pause to make the conscious decision to just ‘let go’…

It seemed so apropos to my life… Needing to let go in order to find my way through troubled waters… Recognizing that holding on isn’t always the right choice… Realizing that there’s no sense worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow, when you’re drowning today… First things first, you have to figure out how to keep your head above water!

The tip of the kayak disappeared over the edge, and my moment of clarity was gone… I had just enough time to take a deep breath of air before the water carried me over the edge of the second drop and pulled me under.

I couldn’t breath… all I could see was foamy white, all I could hear was “ROOAAAARRRR.” The water churned me and tumbled me… I would go where the water took me, and I didn’t have much choice in the matter… It took me to the surface briefly and I drew in as much air as I could, knowing it wouldn’t last long… I got pulled under again before I had any sense of where I was or what was coming next…

Control was an illusion… I had none… I was at the mercy of an unmerciful river… As I bobbed to the surface again, and again… each time gasping for air… I thought of apples bobbing in the water and was slightly jealous of them… The apples got to stay near the surface of the water most of the time… I didn’t seem to be that lucky…

I suddenly felt like I was 9 years old again… Caught in the undertow at Misquamicut Beach in Rhode Island… I loved Misquamicut Beach because it had gigantic waves, but every once in a while one of the waves would hit me wrong, and instead of riding on top of it, I’d end up riding inside of it… Getting caught inside one of those massive waves meant getting caught in a nasty cycle where the surf would crash me against the shore, the undertow and rip current would then drag me back into the surf, and if I was lucky there would be a brief window where I could gasp for air before the next wave came, tossing me back towards the shore and sending me through the ringer all over again in what felt like an endless cycle…

I laughed a little to myself as the whitewater swirled me around below the surface of the river and thought, “When most people talk about the outdoors making them feel young again, I’m sure that this isn’t what they envision!” … But honestly, I couldn’t (and still can’t) think of any other experience where I have so thoroughly felt like I was a kid again…

My head bobbed up to the surface, and this time I was able to get a full breath of air, the giddiness of hypoxia still clinging to me, I once again thought, “I love my life jacket!” My life jacket was saving my life and making my experience less harrowing than my nine year old experience… It made it so that I always knew which way was up, and that made a world of difference!

For the first time since I let go of the kayak I was able keep my head above the surface long enough to see where I was… I was right in front of the kayaker taking pictures of the rafters… I had no idea where my kayak was, but I was almost out of this crazy whitewater… There was just one last massive drop in front of me… Before I could try to communicate with the nearby kayaker, or do anything else, I got pulled back under the water and over the edge of the third, and final drop…

I went down, then bobbed up through the whitewater, gasping for air at the surface… My lungs were starting to get tired of this sh**… I got pulled back under again… when the upward current finally grabbed me and started pulling me upwards again, I tried to use it to swim both upwards and outwards… When I surfaced, gasping for breath, I was noticeably further from the drop this time… I got pulled under one last time before finally making it up to the surface and being able to stay there…

Still gasping, I looked downstream for the closest place that I could safely swim to shore, and immediately started making my way towards it. Each breath seemed to hurt, which annoyed the heck out of me… I finally had all this good clean air to breath, but my lungs were revolting, they just weren’t ready for it yet… they were still mad at me for the ordeal I’d just forced them through.

“Are you ok?” Shouted the rafters downstream. I was still out of breath, so I lifted my hand out of the water, smiled, and gave them a thumbs-up… I couldn’t tell if they saw it, or not… I was ok, but my mission was to make it to shore… I needed to focus on that, and couldn’t afford to waste time reassuring them.

I crawled out of the water, onto a rock, stood up, and started to catch my breath… I was exhausted and I knew it… I needed to take a few minutes to rest… “Well, I survived it,” I thought, “and I love my life jacket!” I’d worn a lifejackets religiously, every single time I’d gotten into a boat for all of my life, hundred if not thousands of times, and until today they’d always just been bulky annoyances… but today… today I loved my life jacket more than anything else in the world!

After a couple more breaths I began to wonder about my kayak… Had it survived? If it had, how was I going to get it back? I was pretty confident that the paddle would be long gone. I looked downrivier… nothing… I looked upriver… It had survived! It hadn’t sunk to the bottom of the river and disappeared forever… at least not yet… and even more amazingly? The paddle was floating right beside it!

The kayak, was full of water, and standing almost vertically at the base of the falls… Just the tip of it visible above the surface and as I watched, both the kayak and paddle slowly began to rotate in a large circle around the pool at the base of the waterfall… they were caught in a whirlpool… How in the world was I going to get them out? Especially the kayak, which filled with that much water was going to be really, really heavy?

I turned my back on them and looked downriver… It didn’t matter… I wasn’t going to try to get them now, because that would be completely and utterly stupid… I needed to give my body a few minutes to recover before I considered doing anything else! One thing at a time!

TO BE CONTINUED in “Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! Part 4: Gently Down the Stream?”

blogger-image--1808886956

An article about the first know passage through Ambejackmockamus Falls

4 thoughts on “Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! (Part 3: Taking the Plunge)

  1. Awesome! I always wear my life jacket too. I like taking precautions against the “what-ifs”. I love reading about your adventures and thank you for recording them for your reader’s pleasure. The article was a great touch.

    Like

    • Thanks!!! I usually manage to avoid the “what-if” scenarios, but I definitely landed myself right in the middle of this one! I love it when people leave comments and let me know that they’re reading the stuff I put out there :)

      It surprised me that I kept thinking, “I love my life jacket,” as I bobbed through the rapids… I’d gotten so used to the life jacket just being a piece of clothing, like a dirty sock, that I’d forgotten that it had a real purpose, a real use… I’d forgotten that I was even wearing it until it started doggedly pulling me towards the surface every time I went under… Each time it happened it was like a new and pleasant surprise!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! (Part 2: In Over My Head) | Patches Thru

  3. Pingback: Real Kayakers Wear Skirts! (Part 4: Gently Down the Stream?) | Patches Thru

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s